The Wal-Mart Story....

This is a classic Emily story...

When we were still living in Alabama, Mom and Emily went to Wal-Mart. I don't think Em was in school yet, so she must have been about four. You know when you're in a toystore and there's some obnoxious kid pushing all the buttons on the talking toys? Emily was that kid.

That day they were in the craft department. There was a display of bags of colored sand that you use for sand art. Emily was poking her finger into the bags. Emily poked her fingers into everything. Mom used to keep a plastic baggie of those electric outlet plugs in her purse, because every where they went Emily wanted to stick her fingers in the outlets. Anyway, back to the craft department at Wal-Mart: Mom told her again and again to stop, that she was going to poke a hole in it, and the sand was going to make a mess. Mom said she turned her back and heard this sound:

"ppppsssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
(in case you weren't aware, that is the sound sand makes as it pours itself all over the floor at Wal-Mart.)

Yep, Emily poked a hole in the bag.

Well, Mom had had it. She grabbed Emily by the arm, and said "You are going to march yourself right over to the Wal-Mart lady, and you are going to tell her what you did, and that you are sorry, and you are going to help clean up every bit of that mess!"

And now of course, Emily is crying, big crocodile tears running down her face.

So they go up to the Wal-Mart lady, and Mom says, "go ahead, tell her what you did!"

I wasn't there, but I can just picture her- this adorable little four year old girl with white-blonde hair and big, blue-green eyes:

heaving big sobs, she said:
"I- I *sniff* poked a hole in the- the *sniff* bag, and the sand *sniff* went all over the floor, and-and- *sniff* I'm sorry!!!!"

The wal-mart lady in this thick southern accent patted Emily on the head and told her "Now don't you worry your pretty little head darlin'! It's gonna be alright, we'll clean that mess up!."

Mom was beside herself. She said she wanted to yell, "No! You don't understand! You are RUINING a perfect teaching moment! She's supposed to be in trouble! Yell at her!"

And right then Emily turned around and gave Mom the biggest Chesire-cat grin. Like "ha, ha" I got out of that one.

Mom said it's a good thing you can't be prosecuted for your thoughts.