So gullible...

I haven't posted a funny memory in a few days. I think I need a laugh.

My dad doesn't have a middle name. He's just Wayne Norman, Jr. He used to tell me that when he was born, my grandparents had to pay per letter on his birth certificate, and they couldn't afford to give him a middle name. I believed him for... well, long past when I ought to have realized he was pulling my chain.

My full name is Melissa Catherine Norman. Emily's is Emily Ruth Norman. There are 22 letters in my name. There are 15 letters in Emily's name. I told her that mom and dad must have liked me more because they spent more money on my name than they did hers. She had a complex about that for years.

Emily hated milk. We couldn't get her to drink it for anything. Dad made her a glass of chocolate milk one day and told her that if she drank it all, there was a surprise at the bottom of the glass. That milk disappeared, but much to Emily's dismay, there was no prize. I forget what Dad told her happened to it, but that if she tried again tomorrow, it might be there. This went on for days before Emily finally figured out she was being duped.

And then there was the power of attorney. Mom and Dad were going on a 2 week trip somewhere, Emily was either 13 or 14, and they gave me a power of attorney for her. In case of an emergency or something like that. Me being me, I sat and read through this document and discovered that... I had the power to put her into foster care. Or have her put up for adoption. Well, you can just imagine how I held THAT over her head.
Here's an idea of how some of our conversations went:

"Emily, it's your turn to load the dishwasher."

"I don't want to"

"Well, if you don't- you'll be loading dishes in someone else's dishwasher because I have the POWER!"

Emily loaded the dishes.

"Emily, turn off the TV and go to bed".

"I don't want to."

"Gee, I hope your new family has a TV".

TV went off and she went to bed.

I am so not going to make a good parent.

I think I had her traumatized, until she actually read the silly document for herself, and realized that by the time all that paperwork would be processed, mom and dad would be home. And that was the end of the saga of the "POWER".

Man, I miss messing with her.