When I am tired of feeling the anger, pain, confusion, sorrow, or the sad feelings I begin to play a game. Sometimes the game makes me laugh and other times cry. But the tears are more of the joy of having known Emily than the sorrow of missing her.
I call the game: “Remember when Emily……”
• Was baptized, and I had worked a midnight shift, slept through the service, woke up long enough to hold her for it, then went back to sleep.
• Was at G.G.’s house with her new found Alabama accent saying “You wanna ‘nother beaaar Uncle Mike?” I told her yes many more times than I should have and paid for it with a pretty sizeable headache the next day. I can still see her short little legs running across the living room holding a “beaaaar”, and everyone laughing.
• Lost a little McDonald’s toy at some park in Alabama and Melissa giving her hers so she would not be sad.
• Wanted me to take her to a book store and I did
• Was at Disneyworld for the first time with her autograph book finding characters for signatures and photo ops.
• Went to Disney with us a 2nd time and we went to the Pooh lunch on the first day. It is still one of my favorite Disney memories.
• Went to the top of the Wilderness Lodge to raise the flag early one morning.
• Drove me home at the beach because Jose Cuervo and I had gotten a little too comfortable. She was proud of herself that night.
• Would pretend to not get one of my “slightly” off color jokes, and ask you to explain it to her so she could say, “ooooooooo”.
• Would not get one of my “slightly” off color jokes and get you to explain it to her so she would say “oooooooooooooo”
I could go on typing for weeks, but I think you get the point. I miss Emily more than I can put into words. That will never change. The laughter and joy she left me with will not change either. That is what I am determined to hold onto.
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