It's been a month.

It’s been a month. A MONTH. 30 days. A lifetime.

I thought I would write something to Emily. But I can’t, not today. I thought I’d post another funny story about Emily, to put a little laughter into today. But somehow, my heart just isn’t in being funny.

You would think I’d have something profound to write. I wish I did.
All that keeps running through my mind is that today it’s been a month.

I wonder how long you keep marking anniversaries. Do you eventually get to the point where you’ve lost count of how many months it’s been and you just start counting the years? Or is every first of the month going to be like today?

I have a ceramic calendar on my desk that still says April 1st. All last month, I couldn’t change the blocks for the date, so I left it where it is. And today I just can’t bring myself to switch out the little blocks from April to May. Maybe I’ll just leave them there. Kinda appropriate- it's the day time stood still.

Maybe tomorrow I'll laugh again. Maybe I'll laugh even yet today. But in this moment, all I am is here.