I never really realized just how much of a hermit I've become. All I ever do anymore is work. I go from my full-time job straight to my part-time job. When I'm not working, I'm doing laundry or trying to catch up on all the things I haven't had time to do. I don't really talk to people much... and I'm so very tired.
I have the whole weekend off. I need it, I need a break. And so I went to see a movie with Maria today. She works in the office at Food Lion. I had a really good time, and laughed more today than I think I have in weeks. Aside from family, obviously... there aren't many people I talk about Emily to. Maria worked with Emily, and she's been one of the few people who hasn't acted uncomfortable when I've talked about her. People at work have been supportive (my jackass boss NOT included), but it so obviously makes them uncomfortable when I talk about her. With the people at Food Lion it's different. They knew Emily... I think a good many of them just know me as Emily's sister. (which I think she got the biggest kick out of when I first started working there.) So they understand, because they knew her. Maybe it's different at Frick because they didn't know her, and therefore they just can't relate. I don't know. Oh don't get me wrong, they listen... but they give me that look. I hate that look. It's a mixture of pity and sympathy and... an underlying "I want to be supportive, but this conversation is making me uncomfortable and I really wish you'd quit talking." And God love Maria, she did not once give me the pity look. I could have hugged her.
Today was a good day simply because it was the first time since Diana left that I could bring up Emily in conversation, share a laugh with someone else who knew her, and actually feel better.
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