Anniversaries

With the second month anniversary passing, I’ve been thinking a lot about those. Anniversaries. When I hear that word, the first thing I usually associate it with is a wedding. But we observe all kinds of anniversaries--- our birthdays, marriages, class reunions, years at a job. Stores will send you coupons on your birthday, and have sales celebrating their “big” milestones, such as "in business for 25 years". We have parades every year, and celebrate holidays. We have all kinds of ways of marking significant dates. But death, death is the silent anniversary. Hallmark doesn’t have a “It’s been two months and I’m thinking of you” card. (at least not yet.) For obvious reasons, there’s no party. And definitely not a parade. You don’t get a discount at your favorite store. And since it is so intensely personal, most people who are removed from the situation don’t even remember the significance of the day. You move through the day, not ignoring what it is, but at the same time not really wanting to acknowledge it.
It makes for a very lonely day.

But why? I miss Emily everyday, so why is the 1st so much harder? I found out on a Wednesday, yet I don’t dread each one with the same kind of dread that leads up to the first. And as well as dreading the 1sts of the month- I’m also dreading the other firsts; her birthday next month. The first Thanksgiving without her. The first Christmas. The first New Year. The first Easter. The first year anniversary. Maybe it’s not so much the days themselves I dread, but simply another reminder of her absence.

I keep saying life is too short. But it is. Life is too short to wait for the next anniversary. You don’t need a day to remind you to get a card for your spouse telling them you love them. You don’t need a class reunion to stay in touch with an old friend. It’d be really great if you didn’t have to wait for the 5 year anniversary of your job hire date to get another week’s vacation. Birthdays are great- but life is too short to wait a whole year to send a card telling that person you’re glad they were born.

Everyday you get up, and live, should be like an anniversary. Life is too short to wait for the big ones.