Something else that’s been added to my list of things I can’t do without being reminded of Emily… sweeping the floors at Food Lion. Sound crazy? Maybe it is. But for some reason, every time I start sweeping, I think of Emily. (And no, it’s not because she loved to sweep or some weird reason like that. I don’t think that girl ever held a broom in her life.) I think it’s just because it’s such a mindless task, my mind starts to wander. I don’t really have to concentrate on what I’m doing, and my thoughts just drift to Emily. And then I can’t stop them from coming.
Kind of like this…
*swish, swish* Emily’s birthday is next month *swish, swish* Maybe I should still get her a birthday card *swish, swish* Maybe I’ll buy myself a present and just pretend I’m shopping for her *swish, swish* Presents? Christmas is not going to be fun this year. *swish, swish* I really hate myself that I stopped our tradition of our “Christmas sleepover” last year *swish, swish* I hope Mom still gets her Mary’s Angel ornament this year. *swish, swish* She won’t be there to watch me decorate the tree, and offer to help even though we both know she doesn’t really want to, and I really don’t want her to either. But she always stayed and talked to me. *swish, swish* There won’t be any finger marks in the Christmas cookie dough mom made ahead and tried to hide in the fridge *swish, swish* Okay, I really won’t miss that, that was kinda gross. *swish, swish* We’re painting my room this week, all my earthly possessions have taken over the living room. She would so be on my case about how much of a packrat I am. *swish, swish* She’d really just be waiting to see what I got rid of so she could keep it. *swish, swish* She probably wouldn’t have liked the color paint I chose. It’s not as bright and cheery as hers. *swish, swish* I wish she could see it though *swish, swish* I’m going to South Carolina next week. It was the last place I was that I was happy. Oblivious. I wish I was there now. *swish, swish* this sucks, this sucks, this sucks *swish, swish* *sniff, sniff*
So I’m going to tell them that I just can’t sweep the floors anymore, because it makes me think too much. Hm... they probably won’t go for that logic, eh?
*sigh*
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