How High Is Up?: Pretending

I have spent two months, 15 days and 22 1/2 hours pretending I am fine.

I am anything but.

What's the meaning behind the title?

I started this blog as a tribute/memorial to my younger sister Emily, who died at the age of 20 on April 1st, 2008. My original thoughts were to create a place where people could post thoughts and memories of Emily, but it seemed to be more of me writing about my own thoughts and what I was going through.

I asked someone how long the whole "grieving" process takes.

The answer: "How high is up?"

I thought about this and realized you can't measure "up". What's high to me may be seen from a different perspective from someone else. I suppose grief is the same way. There's no right or wrong way, and there's no timeline.

Welcome to my journey to finding how high my up is.

About Emily

Emily was born July 12, 1987. She was diagnosed at age 17 as a type 1 diabetic, and died at the age of 20 on April 1, 2008.

Emily was... to put it simply... a force to be reckoned with.

She was laughter and tears, she was anger and joy. She was my worst enemy, and yet she was the light to my dark.

She was many things, but most of all- she is my sister.

Her presence filled a room. And her death has brought an emptiness in my life that I know can never really be filled again.

But what I cling to is the simple fact that even though she's not here, Love never dies.

This is for you Em.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Pretending

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