Seven more days..... and I still haven't found my Christmas spirit. I've finished almost everything on my shopping list. I finally found the Post Office, and my cards are in the mail. My iPod is getting a workout playing my favorite Christmas albums. I even tried my hand at making mom's mint cookies. (they aren't as good as hers). I'm doing all the Christmas-y things, but my heart really isn't in it. I was at Kroger today and in the course of conversation with the cashier, told him I was going home to PA for Christmas. And I suddenly felt weirdly grown-up saying that. I'm now one of those people who travels home for the holidays.
I'm a little torn about Christmas, actually. I can't wait to see my parents. And I'm eagerly looking forward to the Christmas Eve service. Rachel is actually coming with me, and this will be the first time she's ever been to Greencastle. I'm excited for her to see my home, my cat, and for her to meet some of my friends. But Laurie is going to Savannah to meet her mom and stepfather, so we won't all be together at Christmas. And I'll admit- that's got me a little bummed.
But beyond the outer trappings of Christmas..... I still don't have that excitement. Or even the depression that I did last year. This time, it's almost like an apathy. And I think feeling nothing is somehow worse than feeling something. Even if that something is unpleasant.
No comments:
Post a Comment