Fairytale endings

Sleepless in Seattle came on TV tonight. I love, love, LOVE that movie. To me, a good movie is one that you can watch not once, not twice, but three times in a row. And thanks to TBS and their mini-marathons, it actually is possible to watch this great movie times three. Seriously, best movie ever. Along with While You Were Sleeping. Another great mini-marathon flick.

Emily laughed at me every time this movie came on. I am a hopeless romantic comedy sap. She'd tease me to no end about fairytale endings and happily ever afters and how nothing ever happened like that in real life. She played the cynic... yet she always sat and watched it with me. She'd never admit it, but she loved it as much, well... almost as much... as I do. I know that real life rarely tends to play out like a sappy Meg Ryan movie. That life doesn't keep floating along perfectly after the movie's ending credits. But it's an escape. For two hours I can lose myself in the fairy tale where everyone does, in fact, live happily ever after. Emily got that- even if she didn't want to admit it.

I actually haven't seen it in a long time. Not since Emily died. And even though I've seen it hundreds of times, can quote lines verbatim, and could probably play Meg Ryan's part... it hit me differently tonight. Tom Hanks' character is dealing with the loss of his wife. And I never really paid attention to the lines about grief and loss.... simply because I'd never been there. But one line grabbed at my heart. When his character was asked what he was going to do, here's the line in response:

"Well, I'm gonna get out of bed every morning... breathe in and out all day long. Then, after a while I won't have to remind myself to get out of bed every morning and breathe in and out... and, then after a while, I won't have to think about how I had it great and perfect for a while."

Sounds rather familiar. Hauntingly familiar actually. She touches everything. It still takes me by surprise how intertwined she is in so much of me. Even in something as simple as a sappy movie. Thankfully though, this isn't one of the more painful realizations. It's one of those things that sparks the flame of her memory a little brighter, without getting burned in the process.