And the dawn breaks...

Today the sun's back out- bright and beautiful as I knew it would be. The blahs of last night are still lingering just a bit, but my outlook is much better.

I finally got the paperwork from the unemployment people. I've poured over it and gave my calculator quite the workout... and if I'm understanding it right, I really think I'm gonna be okay. I guess I know that, but I just need that constant reassurance. It makes me very nervous not to have a job. Well, a full-time job, I should say. I think I've got it figured out how many hours I can work part time and still draw partial unemployment. And with the severance pay I received.... I really think I'll be alright. I'm trying to consider this a blessing. One thing I've been complaining about for the last few months is not having any time to do anything. Now time is the one thing I have an abundance of.

In fact- I think I am going to head down to the beach with my family next week. They left yesterday and are on their way down as I type this. This'll be the first time they've gone to the beach and I haven't gone. This morning it hit me that I do not want to sit here festering alone for two weeks. And it's stupid to do so, when I probably won't have this chance again. So I threw myself on the mercy of Beth at Food Lion and put in a request for some time off for the following week. I won't know until Tuesday if I'll be able to go. I really, really hope so. I feel kind of foolish asking for time off since only last week I was begging for hours.... but I think she'll understand. *prays fervently*
So if I can go, that means I just have this week to get through. I've got enough stuff to do around here that the time should pass fairly quickly.

And then two weeks from then, I'll be on my way to Poland. I can't believe it's approaching so quickly. I'm still terrified about getting on that plane. I've been majorly freaking out for the last week. And it doesn't help that lately the news seems to be full of stories of plane crashes. In a very real way.... I do not want to go. I'm looking forward to the trip itself, but that nagging fear about the plane simply won't go away. I don't want to! Which is being stupid, I know. I keep reminding myself that I freaked out last year too, and I was fine.

Fine.

Everything is going to be fine.

Fine.



Do I sound convincing yet?