Giving Up the Junk

I'm not usually one to give up something for Lent. I have no willower whatsoever. I've tried many times but I think I've only ever done it twice that I made it all the way through. One time I gave up biting my fingernails. But that's really only because I was tired of my dad fussing at me and he didn't think I could do it. So that really wasn't a sacrifice, that was me being bullheaded and not liking to lose. And another time I gave up wearing my watch. Come to think of it, I did that because one day I forgot mine and was driving my mother nuts asking her what time it was every 5 minutes. It just happened to be around Lent that she dared me to go without it. So I guess that also goes in the non-sacrifice, bullheaded category too.

This year I gave up junk food. And no, not because anyone dared me, but because that's really a sacrifice for me. (And a teensy bit because I need to quit eating because none of my pants fit anymore.) It's almost the end of the first week, and I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult. I knew I ate alot of junk, but I really didn't realize just how much of it I put in my mouth in a day's time. And I'm a stress-eater, which just makes it worse. I didn't realize the many, many candy dishes people have on their desks. 15. I counted. About 6 of them contain my very favorite candy bars- Twix. (And here's an interesting fact that I wish I hadn't learned. Eating one Twix candy bar is equivelant to eating 11 pieces of bacon. Oy.) We also have an office policy that people bring donoughts in on their birthdays. (And I'm not kidding. I work with engineers. Enough said.) I swear there's been a birthday every day this week. And I really, really, REALLY wanted french fries at lunch yesterday.

I guess I really never put myself in Emily's shoes, and never realized just how hard it is to suddenly stop eating all the things you love. At least what I am doing is by choice, and it's only for six weeks. For Emily it became her new reality, and it was never going to change. There's a certain power in having control over what I am eating. I'm denying myself by choice, not because I "have" to. But for Emily who had such a need to be in control to suddenly have that taken away from her... well, I think I understand a little now why she was so damn bullheaded about what she ate. It's not an excuse, but I get it a little more why she was like that. I'm finding that I'm understanding her more and more lately about a whole lot of things. I just wish I'd figured it out sooner. I probably could have made her life a little easier if I was more understanding.

Suddenly giving up the junk for 6 weeks doesn't seem like such a big deal. I don't really need it anyway. And if nothing else, it's made me walk in my sister's shoes for a few steps. I need that once in awhile.

Now if you'll excuse me, I hear the engineers starting another "Happy Birthday" song. (Yes, they sing too. It's really obnoxious) I'm going to grab my grapes, join in the singing, and ignore the doughnuts.