Poland 2008, unfinished draft

(rescued from the "drafts" folder)

One thing that I don't think I really got to share was how Emily ended up being a part of my trip after all. She was so excited for me that I was going, and had all these great ideas how she was going to help me raise the money to go. Emily was not the kind of girl that liked to work hard or get dirty... but she was the girl who would give her all to help you do it. After she died, raising the $1,500.00 to go was the absolute last thing on my mind. In fact, I'd come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to go at all. I couldn't afford it, I didn't have the heart to do it. I had intended to e-mail Terri and tell her I was canceling, but I got busy at work and never got around to it. That same night, my parents sat me down and told me that they wanted to give me part of the money from Emily's life insurance to pay for the trip. Talk about not knowing what to say. And it struck me that in my haste to give up so quickly, I never even once talked that decision over with God. Never thought to leave it in His hands. Nope, I just decided on my own that I wasn't going. I'm very quick to give up when things start to look difficult. He obviously had different intentions. It amazes me how He answers prayers, even the ones we didn't know we asked.
So I never sent the e-mail to Terri, never told her that I almost cancelled on her.

Towards the end of the work week, our Habitat host Adam seemed really preoccupied and worried. There are many teams of volunteers throughout the year that work with HFH in Gliwice, but in addition to the volunteers, they also have paid Polish workers. Adam had said they weren't sure they would have enough money to pay the men the next day. Later on, a beaming Terri told me she had a special surprise for Adam. A Thrivent team typically consists of a minimum of 10 people. Part of the money we have to raise is a donation to the local Habitat affiliate. $10,000 per team. Our team was 20 people, so Thrivent decided to up the donation to $20,000. Terri had just received the offical okay to let Adam know. That extra $10,000 insured they would be able to pay the workers on time. Then came the kicker-- Terri told me that if even one person had cancelled, Thrivent wouldn't have been able to give the extra money.
Whoa.
Again, I cried. Then I told Terri how close I came to not coming, and then she cried. God managed to work through a mess inspite of myself.
I hate the phrase "everything happens for a reason". I do not believe for a moment that Emily died for a "specific reason" or a "purpose". But I do believe that He works through the most awful of circumstances. While it certainly doesn't justify or make her death any easier, it does serve as a reminder that He can bring something beautiful from a whole lot of ugly.

We painted a square on the side of our trailer and we all signed our names. Terri added one more "Anoit Emily" (Angel in Polish). It certainly was not the way we had planned, but she helped me get there after all.