hearts and trees and memories

I opened an e-mail from my dad this morning that brought back a flood of memories. He sent a copy of a letter he received from the neighbors/friends that lived next door to my grandparents for as long as I can remember. I think they had at least 30 kids, or at least it seemed like that. Between the cousins and the neighbor kids there was never a shortage of playmates when we went to visit.

My grandparents have a beautiful red cedar tree in their front yard. The kind of tree that is every kids dream climbing tree. It has branches low enough to make a small child feel like king/queen of the world, and branches that reach higher for the more daring souls. That tree's had three generations of Norman's swinging from it's branches. Actually, probably four because I'm sure my pop-pop climbed a branch or two. It's always been a fixture at my grandparent's house.

After the heavy winter this year, one of the branches broke from the weight of the snow. The Capaldi's helped to cut down the branch, and this is what she sent us:

I just cried when I saw this. The note that she sent talked about how she felt the heart represented the love between my grandparents, the love for their family, and for their neighbors. It brought back some bittersweet memories. And the thought of that tree breaking kind of breaks my heart. I love trees- there's a beauty about them that's always fascinated me. But the beauty of that heart in the branch is a perfect symbol of my grandparents. The thought that struck me about the photo was that sometimes the thing that threatens to break and destroy you, like the heavy winter snow, is actually what allows the hidden beauty to shine through.

Beauty is found in so many places- in hearts and trees, and in memories. I hope that tree survives for many more generations to come, broken places and all.

15 Words or Less Photo Poetry ~ Convienence

Convienence

turn a handle,

push a button

never think twice,

the water flows...

taken for granted

The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind. Within a week after being laid off, I had an interview, was hired, and started working at a new company- all in the span of about two days. I'm incredibly thankful and grateful- so far I absolutely love this place. It keeps me busy, and the days have flown by. I'm already halfway into my fourth week there. I know they say everything happens for a reason. Typically I hate that phrase. But for whatever reason the other job happened, I sure am glad that ending up here was what happened next.


I haven't been hanging out on the computer much in the last few weeks. I think that this is the longest I've gone without facebook since I signed up for it. And you know what? I really don't miss it all that much. I never realized just how much of my time was being spent on facebook. I still try and catch up with my favorite blogs, but usually all I want to do in the evenings is go to sleep! I've wanted to come up with something interesting and profound to write, but I seem to have a case of blogger's block again. And in some ways, the story never changes. I still miss Emily. Sometimes I wonder if the story ever changes, or if this is the way it's going to be forever. I don't know if reaching that place of somewhat acceptance is healing or just giving up fighting against it.


I have found myself thinking about Emily alot. So many things remind me of her. Laurie and I went to the mall a couple of weekends ago. (Which we have quickly discovered is not a good idea. We are definitely a dangerous duo when it comes to shopping). One store in particular makes my credit card shriek as soon as we walk in the door. This store sells the best jeans EVER. After the 5th person told me how great they made my rear end look, I was sold. Seriously. The clothes border a little on the funky side. It's actually the kind of store Emily would have fallen in love with. Loud colors, bright patterns, and all kinds of funky. Mostly stuff that I would never consider trying on in a hundred million thousand years. I have definitely fallen into the world of grown-up, conservative clothes. In otherwords... somewhat boring. But the one sales girl is so cute, you can't help but humor her and try the stuff on anyway. And as I stood in the dressing room in a hot pink shirt with black embroidered angel wings, and blue jeans with silver threaded seams, completely out of my comfort zone, and feeling like a fool, I looked in the mirror and saw Emily. People said all the time how much we looked alike. When we were younger, I could see it. But as we got older, I couldn't really see the resemblance. Maybe it was the fact that I was wearing something that I could totally see my sister in. Maybe it was the lighting. Maybe it was wishful thinking. But for a split second, all I could see was Emily's face. Then it was gone. Maybe it was just a quick reminder of how much she still is very much with me.


I bought the shirt and the silver threaded jeans. I have no idea where I will ever wear it. But it's a little reminder of Emily. A little reminder to let go and have some fun once in awhile. Those kind of reminders I can deal with.